Caregivers, especially those whose caregiving responsibilities are 24-7 or near to it, are often in danger of becoming isolated from family, friends, things that are meaningful to them, and the world around them. Isolation is not something that the caregiver chooses or wishes to happen. Instead it often happens before you know it. So much time can be spent lovingly caring for your friend or family member, however, that before you realize it your time has been consumed by the caregiving role leaving you with less and less time to devote to things and people that you enjoy. One danger sign that this is happening – or has happened – is when you and your role as a caregiver become inseparable. Once your life becomes defined as a caregiver the danger of isolation looms near if it isn’t already present. The challenge is to try to prevent isolation from occurring before it happens. It is helpful to remember the advice of the Positive Aging Resource Center: “Staying connected to friends, family, and the community helps you to stay healthy, both emotionally and physically” (2004). Caregivers, looking at their many caregiving obligations, are often heard to ask: “How can I ever find the time to take care of myself and my needs when I have all of these other things to do?”
A starting point would be to realize that you will not likely find the time as though stray minutes were tucked in a corner somewhere just waiting to be used. You need to make the time. And that brings with it another need for caregivers: recognizing that caring for their needs is just as important as caring for their loved ones’ needs. After all, there will be even greater problems should caregivers emotional, spiritual, or physical health be compromised due to not caring for their own needs. Caregivers can benefit from giving themselves permission for self-care, for having fun with friends, for being active in the community.
Some helpful words for caregivers to write on note cards and post in prominent places around their homes are from the first letter of John:
This is love: it is not that we loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son as the sacrifice that deals with our sins. (1 John 4:10, CEB)
God loves caregivers just as much as care recipients. God seeks the wholeness of caregivers just as much as care recipients. We are loved by God: caregivers, care recipients, all of us. Caregivers: remember that and allow yourselves to care for you as lovingly as you care for your spouses, children, partners, friends, and neighbors. Ultimately caring for yourself will enhance, not detract from, the care that you offer to others.
Suggested resources:
http://www12.edc.gsph.pitt.edu/CHA_OAEP/
http://positiveaging.org/index.html
https://www.caregiver.org/caregiver-isolation-and-loneliness
http://www.aarp.org/home-family/caregiving/info-2014/caregiving-isolation-friendship-stress-jacobs.html